Softness and Tenderness as Revolutionary Praxis

Being tender and soft with each other is revolutionary

We all deserve a little softness and tenderness, especially in face of ongoing systems of destruction. I believe deeply that being tender with each other is a subtle way of undoing the harm of these very systems. What happens when we love anyway? What happens when we insist on softness and tenderness in spite of? What happens when we construct our intimate relationships as places to practice revolutionary love?

“We have to consciously study how to be tender with each other until it becomes a habit because what was native has been stolen from us, the love of Black women for each other. But we can practice being gentle with ourselves by being gentle with each other.” -- Audre Lorde

The too-muchness of chaos and tragedy in the world can wear us down. It can leave us feeling depleted and uncertain. But when we are tender with each other on purpose we disrupt. When we hold each other with love and deep care, we disrupt it. When we choose otherwise, we disrupt. I imagine that as we disrupt, an opening is made for something new. How are you disrupting the systems that wear and tear on your bodymindspirit?

I imagine that to be tender is to be courageous. It takes strength to take off the mask, remove the armor, and come before each other raw and vulnerable. In a world that often glorifies stoicism , embracing tenderness is a radical act that dismantles the walls we've built around our hearts. Tenderness is a path toward freedom, an act of revolution, a promise of transformation.

Journal Prompts

How are you tender with yourself when you feel hurt?

What are your rituals for nourishing your wounded parts?

How do you hold yourself as the tides of life rise and fall?

How do you practice tenderness in your relationships?